Our Evil is not the Evil of the Devil
Our nature, even though it is a fallen nature, still desires what is good, and Christ makes that desire realizable. The whole mentality today is that you have to do something to make yourself lovable.
Remember the Gospel story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman. He wasn't shocked by her sins. He told her in effect, now that you know you're loved, there is no need to sin; He saw that she was seeking to be loved. She was very impressed, and said, "He knows all things."(Cf. Jn 4:29,40)
You ought to examine your conscience to see that you don't really believe that you're loved as is. And remember, if you're not loved as is, then you're not really loved, then you’ll start fixing yourself up. It gets complicated, but that is what you're trying to do. When you ask how can I believe I'm loved, it's like asking how can I breathe. It is that we are loved, and you believe it by keeping your mind on each thing you do in Jesus and being on guard against everything that would distract you. That is what recollection is. When you lose your recollection, you're trying to satisfy yourself by things other than God. That is why in the Martha and Mary story, Jesus said Mary chose the best part. In the other mentality, when you do something, you say, I’ll do a good job so God will love me. Then you try to make your goodness the reason for His love and wonder why you lose your peace.
Man is not evil in himself. Even after the fall, fundamentally what we desire is God. A sinner is drawn to things other than God in order to fulfill that very desire. Look at any sin and see if it isn't a deviation in the means with respect to the desire to be loved. Whenever you do something wrong, you are trying to be loved for something which won't get you what you want. God doesn't love you for your good deeds and virtues. Virtue disposes you to believe that you are loved by God or to respond to that love. Pharisaical virtue is wanting to be loved for yourself; real virtue disposes you to be loved by God.
When you desire something carnal, that doesn't come all of a sudden; you slipped away from the realization that you're loved and then the flesh begins to desire to satisfy that need to be loved. The ultimate meaning of sins of the flesh is God saying: this is what happens when you leave Me and get into yourself.
To love a person is to do what he wants. God wants you to want what He wants. But what does He want? For example, He might want you, when you feel there is nothing that can be done, to force yourself to go to Jesus. When Jesus said, "Why hast Thou forsaken me?"(Mt 27:47) He felt forsaken, yet He was going to the Father, He was talking to him.
It isn't a question of whether or not you're going to God; you are going. It isn't as though you hate going to Him; you hate your disposition in going to Him. When you feel forsaken and pained, the Spirit is groaning for you (cf. Rm 8:26), and still you are going to Him, and that is your intention.
What other reason would Christ have to take a notorious sinner, except to emphasize that she was an object of His affection? Then He showed her to a Pharisee who wanted to be loved for his own virtue. (Lk 7:36ff) Why would the Pharisees be so prominent in the Gospel if not that the Spirit of Truth is trying to tell you that you're a Pharisee? The Pharisees were the ones who crucified Christ. Christ said, "I came to save sinners," (cf Lk 19:l0) because sinners have nothing in themselves to convince them that they're loved - I mean, sinners who know that they are sinners. So we read in the 32nd Psalm:
Happy is the man whose sins are forgiven, whose transgressions are pardoned. Happy is the man whom the Lord does not accuse of doing wrong, who is free from all deceit.
When a man admits his sins with simplicity, employing every effort to keep close to the Lord, his sins are forgiven; he has no need to deceive himself or others. So the Psalmist goes on:
When I did not confess my sins, I was worn out from crying all day long.
What God wants is our simplicity when we sin; what He doesn't want is for us to cover it up. Because when you cover up your sin, you don't believe in the goodness of God, and you tempt Him. What bothers God is not your sin but your stupidity! The only thing that can make you lovable is God - if you let Him.
This same stupid disbelief is the reason for sins against charity. Why do two people fight? If one wants to justify himself, he accuses another, because he doesn't believe he is made holy by Jesus Christ.
Jesus died on the cross to convince you of this. What was the point of His doing that if you end up trying to justify yourself by what you do? Nothing is more important than to correct this false conscience, because you're going to judge things by your false conscience. You can only be made holy by God, and your sins are God's way of showing you that the only thing you can do by yourself is sin.
The world is the way it is because good people are trying to be good by their own goodness. They want to be good parents, but this means that they want to communicate their own goodness and their children won't buy it. Children want the goodness of God, not their parents' goodness, except as the fruit of God's goodness.
This is how you should see sin. All sin is the fruit of duplicity: trying to see yourself as good. Sin is removed by the conviction that you don't have to do anything except come to Jesus. You must examine your conscience to see how wrong it is to try to change yourself without Him. It won't be right unless you see that it is wrong. The only way you can change is to recognize that what you did before was wrong. You have to realize that your whole life has been spent trying to make yourself lovable.
Remember the Gospel story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman. He wasn't shocked by her sins. He told her in effect, now that you know you're loved, there is no need to sin; He saw that she was seeking to be loved. She was very impressed, and said, "He knows all things."(Cf. Jn 4:29,40)
You ought to examine your conscience to see that you don't really believe that you're loved as is. And remember, if you're not loved as is, then you're not really loved, then you’ll start fixing yourself up. It gets complicated, but that is what you're trying to do. When you ask how can I believe I'm loved, it's like asking how can I breathe. It is that we are loved, and you believe it by keeping your mind on each thing you do in Jesus and being on guard against everything that would distract you. That is what recollection is. When you lose your recollection, you're trying to satisfy yourself by things other than God. That is why in the Martha and Mary story, Jesus said Mary chose the best part. In the other mentality, when you do something, you say, I’ll do a good job so God will love me. Then you try to make your goodness the reason for His love and wonder why you lose your peace.
Man is not evil in himself. Even after the fall, fundamentally what we desire is God. A sinner is drawn to things other than God in order to fulfill that very desire. Look at any sin and see if it isn't a deviation in the means with respect to the desire to be loved. Whenever you do something wrong, you are trying to be loved for something which won't get you what you want. God doesn't love you for your good deeds and virtues. Virtue disposes you to believe that you are loved by God or to respond to that love. Pharisaical virtue is wanting to be loved for yourself; real virtue disposes you to be loved by God.
When you desire something carnal, that doesn't come all of a sudden; you slipped away from the realization that you're loved and then the flesh begins to desire to satisfy that need to be loved. The ultimate meaning of sins of the flesh is God saying: this is what happens when you leave Me and get into yourself.
To love a person is to do what he wants. God wants you to want what He wants. But what does He want? For example, He might want you, when you feel there is nothing that can be done, to force yourself to go to Jesus. When Jesus said, "Why hast Thou forsaken me?"(Mt 27:47) He felt forsaken, yet He was going to the Father, He was talking to him.
It isn't a question of whether or not you're going to God; you are going. It isn't as though you hate going to Him; you hate your disposition in going to Him. When you feel forsaken and pained, the Spirit is groaning for you (cf. Rm 8:26), and still you are going to Him, and that is your intention.
What other reason would Christ have to take a notorious sinner, except to emphasize that she was an object of His affection? Then He showed her to a Pharisee who wanted to be loved for his own virtue. (Lk 7:36ff) Why would the Pharisees be so prominent in the Gospel if not that the Spirit of Truth is trying to tell you that you're a Pharisee? The Pharisees were the ones who crucified Christ. Christ said, "I came to save sinners," (cf Lk 19:l0) because sinners have nothing in themselves to convince them that they're loved - I mean, sinners who know that they are sinners. So we read in the 32nd Psalm:
Happy is the man whose sins are forgiven, whose transgressions are pardoned. Happy is the man whom the Lord does not accuse of doing wrong, who is free from all deceit.
When a man admits his sins with simplicity, employing every effort to keep close to the Lord, his sins are forgiven; he has no need to deceive himself or others. So the Psalmist goes on:
When I did not confess my sins, I was worn out from crying all day long.
What God wants is our simplicity when we sin; what He doesn't want is for us to cover it up. Because when you cover up your sin, you don't believe in the goodness of God, and you tempt Him. What bothers God is not your sin but your stupidity! The only thing that can make you lovable is God - if you let Him.
This same stupid disbelief is the reason for sins against charity. Why do two people fight? If one wants to justify himself, he accuses another, because he doesn't believe he is made holy by Jesus Christ.
Jesus died on the cross to convince you of this. What was the point of His doing that if you end up trying to justify yourself by what you do? Nothing is more important than to correct this false conscience, because you're going to judge things by your false conscience. You can only be made holy by God, and your sins are God's way of showing you that the only thing you can do by yourself is sin.
The world is the way it is because good people are trying to be good by their own goodness. They want to be good parents, but this means that they want to communicate their own goodness and their children won't buy it. Children want the goodness of God, not their parents' goodness, except as the fruit of God's goodness.
This is how you should see sin. All sin is the fruit of duplicity: trying to see yourself as good. Sin is removed by the conviction that you don't have to do anything except come to Jesus. You must examine your conscience to see how wrong it is to try to change yourself without Him. It won't be right unless you see that it is wrong. The only way you can change is to recognize that what you did before was wrong. You have to realize that your whole life has been spent trying to make yourself lovable.