Believing in God's Love Now - Amid the Day's Activities
In any situation you're apt to discover that you don't have what it takes, but what is crucial is what you do about it when you discover it. You’ll probably do one of three things:
1) either you won't even be aware of it and let it go because it is natural just to take delight in yourself if you're not shown what's wrong; or
2) you’ll try to convince yourself that there is no defect there; one of the most popular ways to support this view is to look around at others and see that they're worse – i.e., if he stole a million, you’re not a crook because you stole only a thousand;
3) the only right thing to do is to recognize that God doesn't expect you to be what you aren’t, so you go over to Him.
Suppose you're bothered by your sins. Jesus said, "Come over to Me."(Mt 11:28) You can only be bothered by them if you're truthful. So either you abandon yourself to your sins or you try to convince yourself they're not there by repressing them. But if you're simple you go over to Him. Or else you could be confused. That is very poplar with women, because they can’t take the delight in themselves they want to, so instead of saying, I’m a bitch, they get, confused. This really means they insist they would do the right thing if only they knew what it was.
A large part of the day is made up of the experience of your own spiritual inadequacy. If you're recollected you’ll do what I say. If you’re truthful, during the day you'll be glad to get away from things and give yourself over to contemplation so then you can face the thing head on. If you spend the whole day evading what's wrong, you're not going to want to resolve it in prayer, so you’ll look for distractions. You better examine your conscience, particularly in relation to others, and in general too, on how you react when you’re shown what you are in yourself. That is why that spirituality which makes you think, I'm a good person because I said all my prayers, has nothing to do with the case, because, you could be saying them to convince yourself how good you are.
A sign of the state of your soul is how much you like to be quiet. The need for distraction comes from running away from the truth. If you're in love with a person, the only thing you look forward to is being with that person. So if you're looking for distraction from that person in order to live in yourself, it is a sign you’re not loving him. But when you see this about yourself, you don't beat your breast and say, if only ..., or, I'm confused. You use your mind to convince yourself that you’re loved. There are three elements, then, in a healthy state: I ) the right disposition in your work; 2) meditation by which you realize how much God loves you; 3) contemplation by which you lose yourself in Him. You can’t have one without the other.
Since you spend most of your day in activity, it is pretty important to examine your conscience to see what goes on. Otherwise you could get so dissipated you would want to run away from everything. Actually, if you do what I say, the active life can bring you closer to God than the contemplative, because the contemplative can be thinking of himself all day long. You run into so many situations where you see what you are and so you’ll have to keep running to God. There are three things you can do in temptation:
1) give into it;
2) get depressed like Judas, convinced that you can't please God because you don't feel the strength; temptation always entails something which you think is beyond your strength, otherwise it wouldn't be temptation;
3) recognize that in yourself you neither have the strength nor the desire to overcome it so you go to Jesus; then, believing in His strength, you find that nothing can touch you. This entails a right contempt for your weakness and a right belief in yourself. Trusting in Jesus, you realize that sin doesn't touch you because of the intention of your union with Him, and that is the way you develop the habit of hope. Remember, the devil is always saying, like a lot of people, let's face it, the evil is what you really want...
When you feel yourself being distracted, you turn to Jesus the next moment. If one moment is wrong, make the next moment right. That's how to develop fortitude you're not trusting in yourself when you fall down, so you get up again. But if you fall down and just lie there - well, if you lie you become a liar, because in the strength of Jesus you can get up! The reality is NOW, the past is finished and the future doesn't exist. You have to develop that fortitude of trusting what isn't yourself; otherwise you're living by that bourgeois spirit of thinking you always have to have money in the bank. "I to my beloved, my beloved to me, who feedeth among the lilies."(Cant 2:16; 6:2) The lilies have nothing; they're not looking to provide something in themselves, so He stays with the lilies because they want to stay with Him; they have nothing else.
It is interesting how that attitude would lead to the right disposition to others. Suppose a husband betrayed his wife. She would confirm him in his adultery if she said, I could never live with a man like that, because she would be thinking of him the way she thinks of herself: he doesn't meet the prerequisites she has set up.
1) either you won't even be aware of it and let it go because it is natural just to take delight in yourself if you're not shown what's wrong; or
2) you’ll try to convince yourself that there is no defect there; one of the most popular ways to support this view is to look around at others and see that they're worse – i.e., if he stole a million, you’re not a crook because you stole only a thousand;
3) the only right thing to do is to recognize that God doesn't expect you to be what you aren’t, so you go over to Him.
Suppose you're bothered by your sins. Jesus said, "Come over to Me."(Mt 11:28) You can only be bothered by them if you're truthful. So either you abandon yourself to your sins or you try to convince yourself they're not there by repressing them. But if you're simple you go over to Him. Or else you could be confused. That is very poplar with women, because they can’t take the delight in themselves they want to, so instead of saying, I’m a bitch, they get, confused. This really means they insist they would do the right thing if only they knew what it was.
A large part of the day is made up of the experience of your own spiritual inadequacy. If you're recollected you’ll do what I say. If you’re truthful, during the day you'll be glad to get away from things and give yourself over to contemplation so then you can face the thing head on. If you spend the whole day evading what's wrong, you're not going to want to resolve it in prayer, so you’ll look for distractions. You better examine your conscience, particularly in relation to others, and in general too, on how you react when you’re shown what you are in yourself. That is why that spirituality which makes you think, I'm a good person because I said all my prayers, has nothing to do with the case, because, you could be saying them to convince yourself how good you are.
A sign of the state of your soul is how much you like to be quiet. The need for distraction comes from running away from the truth. If you're in love with a person, the only thing you look forward to is being with that person. So if you're looking for distraction from that person in order to live in yourself, it is a sign you’re not loving him. But when you see this about yourself, you don't beat your breast and say, if only ..., or, I'm confused. You use your mind to convince yourself that you’re loved. There are three elements, then, in a healthy state: I ) the right disposition in your work; 2) meditation by which you realize how much God loves you; 3) contemplation by which you lose yourself in Him. You can’t have one without the other.
Since you spend most of your day in activity, it is pretty important to examine your conscience to see what goes on. Otherwise you could get so dissipated you would want to run away from everything. Actually, if you do what I say, the active life can bring you closer to God than the contemplative, because the contemplative can be thinking of himself all day long. You run into so many situations where you see what you are and so you’ll have to keep running to God. There are three things you can do in temptation:
1) give into it;
2) get depressed like Judas, convinced that you can't please God because you don't feel the strength; temptation always entails something which you think is beyond your strength, otherwise it wouldn't be temptation;
3) recognize that in yourself you neither have the strength nor the desire to overcome it so you go to Jesus; then, believing in His strength, you find that nothing can touch you. This entails a right contempt for your weakness and a right belief in yourself. Trusting in Jesus, you realize that sin doesn't touch you because of the intention of your union with Him, and that is the way you develop the habit of hope. Remember, the devil is always saying, like a lot of people, let's face it, the evil is what you really want...
When you feel yourself being distracted, you turn to Jesus the next moment. If one moment is wrong, make the next moment right. That's how to develop fortitude you're not trusting in yourself when you fall down, so you get up again. But if you fall down and just lie there - well, if you lie you become a liar, because in the strength of Jesus you can get up! The reality is NOW, the past is finished and the future doesn't exist. You have to develop that fortitude of trusting what isn't yourself; otherwise you're living by that bourgeois spirit of thinking you always have to have money in the bank. "I to my beloved, my beloved to me, who feedeth among the lilies."(Cant 2:16; 6:2) The lilies have nothing; they're not looking to provide something in themselves, so He stays with the lilies because they want to stay with Him; they have nothing else.
It is interesting how that attitude would lead to the right disposition to others. Suppose a husband betrayed his wife. She would confirm him in his adultery if she said, I could never live with a man like that, because she would be thinking of him the way she thinks of herself: he doesn't meet the prerequisites she has set up.